Neo Yan Zong

Don't angry buddy );

2012-01-08T02:05:00.001+08:00

Me so xing fu. (;

2011-12-31T02:13:00.001+08:00

Going into the police academy in 8 hours time. See you guys real soon (;

2011-12-13T00:56:00.001+08:00

Sian. Don't think so much.

2011-12-10T00:43:00.001+08:00

Don't like how you're always able to do this.

It's a scary thought. Giving someone your heart, because she can break it or mend it easily. Just find the right person (;

2011-12-07T01:09:00.001+08:00

Bananas and Monkeys

2011-11-19T22:09:00.001+08:00

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.

Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done round here.

Got this from Nariko's blog. Really interesting though. It kind of applies to humans. To a certain extent..

I just realized that much has happened and this space isn't updated.

2011-11-06T22:36:00.001+08:00

harrow guys and i just saw your messages at the tagboard. haha specifically yuting and liping. anyway. thanks huh guys. i've been thinking and stuff but yea. i got past those stuff but there's new stuff. there will always be i guess.

at the end of the day whatever happens i just need to live without regrets. thanks for bearing with me for the past don't know how many million years. you guys are really great friends (;

i think someday i'll have to sit down with you guys to talk. got stuff to tell ya. heh.

meanwhile, i'm happy with my life. hope you guys are doing fine as well (;

Get out.

2011-10-28T00:26:00.001+08:00

If you ignore me, I will ignore you. If you don't start the conversation, we won't talk. If you don't put in the effort, why should I?

2011-10-23T22:20:00.001+08:00

You started it.

You just need to wake up and with that half assed attitude of yours.. You will never be able to call yourself a dancer. So just leave my sis out of this.

2011-10-15T01:51:00.001+08:00

God will always give us doors to open. He will give you the keys as well. All you need to do is to choose the door. There's no right or wrong, because God is with you all the way. Remember that God isn't bound by time. What may seem to be the wrong choice might turn out right.

2011-10-13T02:32:00.001+08:00

"When a man says he doesn't know what he wants, run... what he really means is he doesn't want you but you're better than nothing."

2011-09-28T12:51:00.001+08:00

No one can know, that I have yet to let you go.

2011-09-25T21:32:00.001+08:00

Question is, would you?

2011-09-23T01:05:00.002+08:00

You remind me of her.

2011-09-12T01:08:00.001+08:00

I hope you're someone worth fighting for.

2011-08-29T01:25:00.001+08:00

Define bliss. How about now?

2011-08-19T23:15:00.001+08:00

Perhaps, you're better off without me in your life.

2011-08-09T23:44:00.001+08:00

When Less is More. );

2011-08-09T00:51:00.001+08:00

2011-08-06T01:22:00.001+08:00

Feels... Happy. After a long time.

Why?

2011-08-02T01:29:00.001+08:00

Rejection is part of dance.

Injuries are part of dance.

Scoldings are part of dance.

So is success, so is being casted, and so is the learning process.

All part of dance.

If we can try to see all these from just one viewpoint, we will understand why dancers dance.

Why we dance.

Because for me.

Rejection tells me where I can improve.

Injuries reminds me of my bad technique.

Scoldings wake me up and slaps me in the face when I don't give my all.

Success tells me that it is time to move on to the next level.

Being casted means being blessed with the opportunity to inspire, to teach and to motivate.

We help one another. But sometimes. We have to help ourselves.

Hey Uncle.

2011-07-23T02:21:00.002+08:00

I miss you.

So bad.

But I won't cry now.

Not anymore.

Because the old me is gone.

One Day.

2011-07-23T02:18:00.004+08:00

I wished you'd all understand.

But that's me being selfish.

To love things the way they are; it's so hard.

Wish to stand by You.

Me.

Us.

Them.

2011-07-22T10:48:00.000+08:00

Thank you for yesterday (;

Weakness

2011-07-20T23:49:00.001+08:00

I can't be stressed.

Or slightly pressured.

I'll fumble and mess up.

I just don't know how to pull everything together now.

Help?

That's why I'll only always be a thinker );

A Soldier

2011-07-20T00:09:00.001+08:00

A soldier.

A gun.

A war.

As he sheds blood, sweat, sometimes tears...

Does he not feel?

The more important question, is he allowed to feel?

The world is cruel.

The war is cruel.

But so is everything for the soldier.

He is not allowed to feel.

Time Travel

2011-07-15T13:11:00.002+08:00

We can't make our past beautiful, because it's already over.

We have two more chance now.

Are you taking it? (;

2011-07-10T02:53:00.002+08:00

And! For my uber late wish. Happy belated birthday love (;

2011-06-23T00:11:00.002+08:00

You know, I wished I was more independent.

Just like you );

2011-05-31T01:38:00.002+08:00

Maybe if you could just stop and think for awhile.

Just stop.

And think.

Could it be because you still mattered?

Even as a friend.

2011-05-26T00:40:00.001+08:00

Shhhh.. No one has to know. It'll be my little secret love (;

2011-05-17T21:01:00.002+08:00

It just won't be the same anymore, you know?

It's no longer there love.

2011-05-10T23:52:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile. I do miss you.

2011-05-09T23:13:00.000+08:00

The powers of the magician.

It's a gift, and also a curse.

It's poison you know?

What you have.

Before its too late, do something love.

Don't wait for the audience to go.

Turn around dear, you still have that chance (;

2011-05-04T22:38:00.002+08:00

Bye Grandpa.

2011-05-03T21:17:00.001+08:00

Blog revive! Thank God that I've manage to find myself a bible study group on Friday, in school. That means I won't miss out on God, OR dance. Finally (;

Thank God ;D

I'm Already Numb, Love.

2011-04-26T17:18:00.000+08:00

Christine Aguilera - Hurt

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today, ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh

Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/christina-aguilera-lyrics/hurt-lyrics.html ]
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you

2011-04-24T18:01:00.000+08:00

We either get married or we breakup, right?

2011-04-12T00:49:00.000+08:00

Dance is getting tough.
And it’s really not about getting the movements and stuff I feel…
Why do we move the way we do?
What’s the motivation in each step, each jump, and each turn?
What initiates the motion?
What has led people to discover transitional moves?
There are so many questions that I can’t seem to find the answer to.
I think that’s the hardest part about dance.
Doing a jump; piece of cake.
Anyone will get it eventually, after years and years of practice.
Perhaps what we should really go after in dance is essentially, the reason behind the movements.
I don’t know how to put it better in words though...

Why do we go on pointe?

2011-04-08T13:47:00.001+08:00

This anger building up is not healthy.

Who can I share this with though.

Hmm.

Just really darn pissed with you.

2011-04-05T01:12:00.000+08:00

What does one do when a raindrop falls on one's face?

Does he flinch?

Or does he savor the moment; embracing the thrill.

2011-04-04T01:04:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it's disappointing.

Then again...

It's just me (you).

2011-03-31T10:59:00.001+08:00

Seriously? Haha. Damn you need a mirror.

2011-03-29T22:22:00.001+08:00

The best part about an audition is the period of preparation.

Reliving it right now.

Danggg.

2011-03-28T23:42:00.001+08:00

Hah, I know you too well.

2011-03-27T14:48:00.001+08:00

Cheers to reopening my blog today.

Thanks for all the support, from those who cared.

You know I appreciate it (;

2011-03-22T00:05:00.001+08:00

Jarah, I'm missing you already );

A Ball of String

2011-02-16T23:15:00.000+08:00

It rolls forward.

But it leaves a trail behind.

It doesn't break, unless a deliberate effort was made.

To destroy the bond, it will take more than a tug.

To destroy, or to destroy...?

The ball of string will thus continue to move.

A Beggar's Day

2011-02-15T14:39:00.000+08:00

He sits.

Watching people pass, to and fro.

Some people looked at him and others turned away.

The beggar looks into his bowl.

He sees his own reflection.

'Why can't this world be a better place?'

2011-02-11T01:12:00.001+08:00

He looks up, into the sky.

It wasn’t pretty.

It wasn’t blue, nor black, nor shiny with stars.

It was a dusty, red sky tonight.

He wondered, what changed?

What stayed the same?

At the end of the day, would anything matter?

It is, but a sky.

"It"

2011-02-08T22:22:00.001+08:00

He looked.

In the rain, he stopped and stared.

Why did he get drenched, right here?

He looked to the people in the shelter.

He wonders why he isn’t there with them.

He set his eyes back onto it.

He wonders.

Why am I here?

He hesitated.

He turned away, and started walking.

No, not towards the shelter.

But away from it.

Away from the people. 一个人来，一个人走。

2011-02-08T12:36:00.001+08:00

"The best friend you can have is when you yourself choose to be the best friend for your friend."

Yi Huan, I really respect you as a person and a friend. You're really genuine. You probably won't see this, but you have really inspired me in many ways. I love your blog (;

2011-02-08T00:32:00.004+08:00

Hmm… I need to be a little more sensitive to my surroundings.

Start to feel more.

Let's all grow up a little more, and face this like how adults would.

Let's be objective and not get personal.

Let's work hard, and not forget to care for others.

I’ll help with the load, promise (;

2011-02-06T21:29:00.002+08:00

Lalala, 听不到。

Day Four: Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot

2011-01-29T23:20:00.003+08:00

1. I’m going to audition for Frontier Danceland. But… How am I going to pass the auditions? I’m such a slow learner and I’ll really die in the class. If I don’t, there’s a one minute solo for me to kill myself with. Besides, I have army. If I do pass, they might not accept me either way. Shit. =.=.

2. What to do after I graduate from poly? NAFA? Lassalle? NTU Psychology? I don’t think I can get in even if I managed a 4.0 GPA this semester. NIE? It seems to be the most realistic option. Gosh.

3. I wonder who hates my guts.

4. The person I really am, and what I let others see.

5. I keep saying I’m going to leave the train carriage, but somehow I just keep coming back. I wonder what is in it that makes me want to stay.

6. How I can be a better person.

7. How I can make others to be better people.

Day Three: Eight Ways to Win Your Heart.

2011-01-21T00:20:00.000+08:00

1. Understand me. Tough feat, considering the fact that I am very guarded about letting people know me. Till today, there has yet to be one individual whom I would think understands me. I’m weird…

2. Be understanding. Really, darn difficult. First I don’t let people understand me, then I want people to be understanding towards me. Hahaha. I have some bad habits, a foul temper at times and I can be really unreasonable! Damn I wonder who can really tahan me. Haha.

3. Support me in what I want to do.

4. Stand by me. Sometimes I feel down, and nothing in the world will help. Just walk beside me, that’s good enough (;

5. Doing little things for me. Even taking serviettes for my MacDonald’s meal means something to me. Though only a few people would do that (;

6. Listen to what I have to say. Don’t shut me off just because you know what I’ll say next. Sometimes I just want to say it out.

7. Make me feel secure. I’m a guy, but it’s tough knowing that I have someone as awesome as you by my side and I always wonder if you would stay for long. One of the hardest things to do actually. HAHA

8. Be my best friend (;

I took a long time before I actually wrote this. The thing is, ‘eight ways to win your heart’ is about you. You, you and you. It’s stupid because in a relationship it’s never only about one person.

One good reason why I didn’t skip this challenge is probably because I have this secret wish to let people know me more. I feel like no one really understands me.

But hey, what the hell man.

Who cares? Haha.

2011-01-16T19:49:00.000+08:00

The thing that sucks the most is knowing something but you are not going to be able to help. It's like watching a bullying session. All those tainted souls.

2011-01-15T20:02:00.001+08:00

You know the best thing in life is really not about living your dream, having tons of money, making lots of friends, falling in love.

If you did someone wrong today, you made a mistake today, you could have done so much better today, or whatever the thing is, don't dwell on it.

Because the best part about life is that there is a 'tomorrow' and you have that chance, to do it all over again.

And not just that.

But the chance to do it better.

我们还有机会，做好人。

2011-01-14T01:04:00.001+08:00

I've always wondered what it feels like when people ask for your number.

Damn it feels scary.

2011-01-10T01:12:00.000+08:00

To see the good in people.
How easily one can get disgusted by someone else who made a mistake...
But has that person ever reflected on himself/herself?
Perhaps it has yet to cross her mind that she has done it before.
Oh?
Yes, her.
One of the few capable of making this mistake.
Pretty ignorant.
But what you do really see when you look into the mirror?
You?
Or you?
Pathetic.

2011-01-07T01:10:00.002+08:00

A pleasant surprise, I must say.
That dream, that is.
Found myself smiling like such a stupid fool when I woke up.
Haha.
Makes me feel like, just maybe.
Then again… It was, just a dream.
Wake up la.
Haha.

2011-01-01T17:21:00.002+08:00

Oh my gosh.

The more I think of your actions, the more disgusted I get.

God, give me discipline.

To not do anything stupid.

2010-12-24T18:40:00.003+08:00

And I stopped and stared.
Thinking...

Is there any good left, in this world?

I wondered.
Thought about it on the bus.
Looking at all my fellow friends in the bus.
Listening; though vaguely, to their conversations.

It's been a while.

Sitting down, doing nothing but just...
Listening.
Watching.

Is there there any good left, in this world?

Through them, I see hope.

I see, true compassion in some of them.
Amidst their lies and deceit, some had good intentions.
But most of them, however...

They're just dark.

So... Dark.
It scares me.
It makes me wonder, how they lived with themselves everyday.

Is there any good left, in this world?

I'm not a saint.
With me, all hope is lost.
With them, things might change.

What are the odds, however?
With so little time, how much more can I do here?
The cracks are already starting to form.

Is there any good left, in this world?

I wonder.

Day Two: Nine things About Yourself.

2010-12-17T00:37:00.000+08:00

I don’t like making friends. I find it very, uncomfortable. Because I don’t like to make friends, I don’t really have much. And so, I really cherish them.

I love to dance, because I get to teach people. Basically, I like to teach. And dance, is a platform for me to do that.

I do get bored of dance; sick of it even. I find ways to keep it burning though, the passion I mean. I pick up other genres, before coming back to my primary style.

At times, it helps to think about why you dance. Why you do the things you do. It’s impossible to have a flame that never flickers; we all have our ups and downs. If you hang on to that, the mindset that you have ‘undying passion’, you’re not going to go far.

Remember blind passion is not good enough; going at a pace that your foundation cannot keep up is not going to help at all. One day you’ll wake up, and lose sight of why and what you are fighting so hard for.

But, you can have a flickering flame (;

You go further when you are constantly trying to ignite that fire. Your passion is like a relationship with someone, it’s not going to be forever unless you put some heart into it.

I’m a very emotional person. I mean, really. I follow my heart more than anything. I tend to be really biased at times... Towards certain people, that is.

First impression is very (gravely) important, if I want to know you. It’s pretty much make-or-break kind of scenario. I’m either going to make heaps of effort trying to know you, or none at all.

I try to please everyone. I can’t accept the fact if I know someone dislikes me. Everyone has their insecurities, I guess. At some point of my life which I really cannot recall when, I kind of realize it’s impossible…

That’s when I stop trying to please everyone. Then again, if you ever saw the real me, you are one of the uh, fortunate (or unfortunate) few.

I can’t hate someone. I tried. Haha. What’s the point though? Clenching your fist is tiring; let it go.

I’m very protective of people I care about. Possessive also. I get jealous easily. Like really. Most of the time I just don’t say it. Haha.

I’m really not that good a person. I’m analytical in nature, and I study emotions. I can act really well, and I know when to play my ‘cards’. I can be really scheming. It’s really discipline and my faith that’s holding me back from doing nasty things to people. It’s a struggle for me, everyday.

I don’t hide my evil side. We all have one, and it’s really not how GOOD we try to be, but how BAD we try NOT to be as a person. Note the subtle difference (;

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That’s all I guess~
Oh, probably the last thing about me…

I procrastinate a lot. But when I set my mind to something, I’ll do it to the best of my ability, it’ll be a 110% piece of work. Otherwise, I won’t even start at all. Just like the 10 days challenge; it’s a pretty good example (;

Ming Li's Awesome Words!!!

2010-12-16T22:48:00.001+08:00

But no one's gonna be holding a checklist and ticking the boxes one by one to see which one fits your 'requirements' for a partner. So what if he likes kids and goes gaga over cute furry little things? So what if he's never uttered a swear word before in his life? So what if he's 90% good-boy, so what if he can't appreciate the sort of music I like, so what if he isn't a big fan of the Harry Potter series?

Love at first sight and soulmates don't exist. No, you don't meet someone off the sidewalk, on some lonely street right when you need someone the most and no, your life doesn't fall miraculously into place like a magically-engineered jigsaw puzzle just because you've met that special someone that makes you feel all warm and tingly all over. There's no such thing as a fucking Cupid's arrow that hits you right there at your paper heart, 'sets you on fire' and makes you fall immediately into love with whoever has caught your eye at that particular moment and then hahaah happily ever fucking after.

But what happens after happily ever after, after all the gloss and glaze of the honeymoon period has faded into ashes and into the hourglass and when everything has dissolved into nothing but beautiful letdowns?

You wanna fall in love?

Hell yeah, that's easy.

But if you wanna stay in love?

You better get ready to work your ass off for it to last. You don't get complacent and sit on your laurels. You don't get all high-and-mighty and get stuck in the delusional rut that haha it's okay 'cause we're gonna last forever because, no, it's -not- gonna last forever if you don't do anything about it to keep it alive. If you want to enjoy the frills, flounces and daydreams of candy-pink love, you better have the balls to live through the pain and anger that you feel when the both of you are fighting with each other.

So what I'm waiting for right now is a boy who will furiously snatch up my checklist of conditions for a boyfriend, snarl and tear it up into tiny little bits of confetti because it doesn't, and will never work like this. Find me someone who is wrong in all the right places for me, find me someone who will never suit me on paper and pen, but fuck, when we kiss, it's nothing but fireworks. Find me someone that will make me want to slap him and laugh with him all at the same time, find me someone that can make me so happy until it feels like there's honey slathered all over my insides and find me someone that makes me feel like flying into a homicidal rage because I want it all; I want every emotion in the spectrum that love can bring me. Find me someone like that, and then, maybe, maybe I'll start to believe in true love that stays.

Surprise me.

I'm waiting.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really love this, it made so much sense. It's like, OH MY GOSH SICK kind of content. I HAVE AWESOME K.E SENIORS ;D ;D ;D

Anyway Ming Li, when I saw you tag me in your note, I was smiling the WHOLEEEE time while I am reading it ^^!

2010-12-15T01:28:00.002+08:00

So, what hurts the most?

Your inability to help.

Day One: Ten Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People Right Now.

2010-12-14T01:59:00.002+08:00

Mum, Dad

Hey mum, hey dad. You guys aren’t tech-savvy so you will never see this. MUHAHAHA. But! I want to say, I really appreciate you guys for being so patient and tolerant with me even when I throw my temper and stuff.

Thanks for waiting for me to come home and cook my favourite instant noodles when I didn’t have my dinner yet <3

You guys rock! Besides, you all are so damn funny. Ahahaha. I really wonder where I will be without you guys; your guidance and teachings and all. Lots of love (;

Fatty Sis

Hey fatty this is to you. You’re the most wonderful person on earth and words can’t describe this. Thank God that we are so close (and fat) and I appreciate all the nagging and scolding from you; I deserve it.

Just want to say I’m really proud of you and you’ve come a long way. In terms of your character, accomplishments, everything! You’ll be a much better person than I will ever be in all aspects of life and I’m grateful for that. (;

Li Ping

I know you take pride in this picture so I put this NICELY here for you k? HEHE.
Well well, mighty liping. Like I said, you can do it and you deserve much more. Humans are just plain sick. We always fall for people who don’t cherish us or make use of us.

We get hurt, but it’s a process. Through that we learn. You will pull yourself together, no worries on that.

You always have. (;

Jarah

Hi my super duper awesome friend. For once I shall lie k. HAHA. Anyway this picture is one of my wallpapers ar. HAHA.

Thanks for being there for me when I needed you and I love our night conversations. Soooo full of crap. Hahaha. I always want to cheer you up but I can’t really do that can I... Want to let you know that I’m not the sms or msn kind of person, so sometimes I may behave differently from what you expected me to be.

I like to talk with someone face to face, and I think you know as well. Because I can see your ‘whatever’ response and it makes me feel really good. HEEEEE. Hanging out with you is awesome; I can be myself and not anybody else. Thankfully, you still remained to be my friend even after seeing the real, ugly me. Thanks so much Jarah.

Oh, and it’s true you know. When I see grass I think of you. I think of STEPPING them. just kidding XD

Alex, Kah Hao

You know, guys this is the picture that I remembered you guys by. HAHA.

Hey bros, I figured I could stuff more people into my list so thanks for being great FRIENDS and being so goofy and crappy ALL THE TIME. Love all the times we spend together motivating each other and learning all the different stuff. Hahaha. Well we have our last semester together, let’s make it count ;D

WINDMILL, FLARE, AIRFLARE, AIRBABY, AIRFLARE WITHOUT HANDS, KAH HAO STEP, ALEX’S BABY LAI AR SUI LET’S GO!

Remember we will forever be the BREAKING BROTHERS. Can include Jarah as well HEE (;

Donovan

Man, long gou. Those were the good old days huh? Haha.

Hey ass, this is for you but you probably won’t see this. Ahaha. You’ve been a real brother, helping me through my hardest time and being patient with me. Also being able to tahan my consistent nagging; that’s a real feat bro. You’ve been a great friend, and you’re a great guy as well.

We all have our flaws, that’s what makes us humans. It’s what keeps us going. We will improve together, in dance, in character, and of course see you in PA dance troupe soon (;

Mdm Khadijah

Hi teacher, you know your profile has no picture laaaa. But! I’m so resourceful I used your video picture instead (;

Hmm… You are one of the few people that I will remember and keep in contact with after poly. Speaking of which, it’s been about… a year; almost at least since we knew each other. Haha!

I am very thankful teacher, because the first person I really danced for was you! I’ve been dancing for about a year and a half now, and all these time I don’t really have an audience. No one will be there to watch me, so I always danced for the team, danced for myself. You know. Haha.

Thankfully I can dance for you! Haha. Teacher, I hope the next time you see me dance I will have that tension we spoke about. I will try hard and do my best. And of course, inspire others like how I have been inspired by you!

Titia

Hellooooo, this picture is the best right? HAHAHA (;

You probably don’t know my blog at all so this is kind of like, pretty awesome because I can talk bad about you XD

Just kidding~! Wow it’s been one semester haven’t it? Wished there were more time to spend with you but owell. Thanks for bringing me back to God (credits to Jarah and Mdm Khadijah as well), that was really important for me.

Hmm… we probably won’t get to see each other much now… But it’s ok! I’ll find time (;

Thanks for listening to me while I had no one to talk to ^^!

Eden

HEY bro! I got your most awesome picture EVER! ;D

Really appreciate all the conversations we have, felt like I’ve known you for a really long time. Haha.

Well I’m graduating soon, going into army soon, and everything. Hope we’ll stay in contact as well yea? All the best for your trip to Hong Kong, come back a star alright? ;D

Abang, Yihuan, Chrissie, Yvonne, Ee Hui

Hellooooo my dearest clique (;

Haven’t met you guys for sooooo long. Sorry I everytime 放你们的飞机 XD

But! I promise that we will meet up soon; all of us ya? We’ll find a day then we go out and be crazy and stuff. Everyone’s everywhere now; it’s just life huh? We all run around but we have a super dedicated abang trying to get us all to meet up.

Haha having said that, our abang seem to be real busy nowadays. So it’s our turn to put in the effort ;D

OK GUYS WE SHALL MEET SOON I PROMISE!!! ;D

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Well guys. Ten is not enough. Here’s the bonus:

Miss Veronica

Hi Miss Veron, how have you been? We haven’t got the chance to talk face to face and stuff…

You are deeply missed.

Miss Veron, I’m where I am mainly because of you and I really thank God for putting you in my life. You taught me more than just dance; you gave me the passion unlike any other so that I can inspire others as well.

I’ll continue to learn, so that I can be the teacher others never had. I’ll inspire as much people as possible, so I can do you proud!

Finally, I hope I’ll be good enough; to choreograph a dance for you. One day. Wait for it Miss Veron. Love you lots (;

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The thing is, I realized I can never finish day one if I go on like this. Haha. I will stop here.

Though there are a few others I would want to mention… maybe 2.

No, just one more. It’s late though.

Nights people (;

2010-12-13T01:29:00.001+08:00

Ok errr, maybe I'll do the 10 days challenge. Tommorow. Geez it's going to become a 30 days challenge soon. HAHA

10 Days Challenge

2010-12-11T13:09:00.003+08:00

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession

2010-12-10T00:52:00.001+08:00

Something’s not quite right.

Somewhere, somehow.

It feels like a wrong decision is made…

But what exactly is it?

I’m praying hard…

God, I hope things will be fine.

This is important.

I can’t get this off my chest.

A heavy heart.

2010-12-07T20:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I get so disgusted by you.

You’re so rude and arrogant at times.

Don’t go overboard; the last thing I want to do is to tell you off my friend..

2010-12-06T01:33:00.002+08:00

Holy shiat. Is that a tear?

Something is wrong with me tonight. Haha.

2010-12-05T12:27:00.000+08:00

Everything's fine recently, we had a great show with not much screw ups. Who cares if we're a little messy and all. Heh.

Well, one down and a few more to go. Haha.

Just a thought; but I always thought that respect comes from the way you carry yourself. That's the only way you get to keep it, isn't it? Hmm.

以德服人。

I wonder if she is being remembered at all.

2010-11-28T12:09:00.002+08:00

I'll help you. If that, is what you want.

2010-11-25T10:31:00.003+08:00

I just can’t seem to do anything right huh. Sorry girl, I really want you to be happy.

Stupid me.

2010-11-20T23:10:00.003+08:00

Imperfections. Looking at the world with disgust.

I wished I never had this, ‘gift’.

I would have been so much happier.

内疚？你应该惭愧。 Don’t lie to ourselves.

2010-11-20T01:23:00.000+08:00

I hate it when you put people down.

I just hate it so soooooo much.

But what can I do?

Why do you have to act like you’re so darn good and stuck-up?

Arghhhhhh.

Screw this, I don’t need to talk to you anyway.

2010-11-14T14:46:00.000+08:00

Looking back, something's amiss. Owell. Where is the old you? I kind of miss that.

2010-11-14T14:27:00.002+08:00

We just have responsibilities.

That's what make us who we are.

So don't run from them.

Selflessness.

2010-11-12T00:09:00.001+08:00

Ok. Secret blog is up.

2010-11-09T23:44:00.001+08:00

Sympathy.

2010-11-09T01:38:00.002+08:00

Sheesh.

I almost completed my assignment.

Shit la tommorow.

OH MY GOSH I'M SO GOING TO DIE.

Dear God, I pray that I will be doing it at anytime possible.

Nights. I care, but I shouldn't show.

2010-11-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

Listen. 'It's for the best.'

2010-11-07T11:48:00.001+08:00

Business Resume...

Foundations of Business Psychology Homework

Find an article on Psychology Today and paste on mel wiki
Find the program SPSS on level 6 IT helpdesk

Social Psychology Homework

Find a photo of yourself in primary school (about 8-10 years old)
Describe that 'you' in a paragraph
Find a photo of yourself now
Describe the current 'you' in a paragraph
Discuss if you've changed over the past ten years, and who/what were the sources of influence shaping you into who/what you are today
Discuss your classmates' 'portrait' of you. Is the portrait consistent with the 'image' you hope to present to your classmates (ie self-presentation)
Talk about your self esteem and self efficacy back then, and now.

Oh crap. Haha

2010-11-06T23:53:00.001+08:00

You'll come along. I'll find you.

2010-11-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

Why do I try to understand everything?

Why do I try to justify everything I see, hear, or feel?

Life's miserable this way.

Owell.

'Whatever works.'

2010-11-04T14:14:00.001+08:00

Happy, happy..

2010-11-02T21:28:00.001+08:00

How can I compare...

2010-10-31T23:55:00.002+08:00

You know, I might be a lot happier. If I expected less from you.

And the injury bug bites, yet again ;X

2010-10-31T15:14:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, I am going to get myself into trouble unless I really start getting serious about recovering. Ahahaha. I think this is it man. Got to really rest and all. Oh God save me =.=...

I'm answerable, only to you.

2010-10-24T17:32:00.001+08:00

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there's the healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I would, would be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there is healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin)
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

2010-10-10T10:45:00.002+08:00

Never mind.

I have everything I could ever ask for and more.

Great friends, good boss, a job, I get to dance every now and then...

Wow.

The world's pretty, just see it from a different light.

Wylin, I'm not semi-emo now (;

2010-09-28T07:46:00.002+08:00

Talk to someone yesterday and I realized that I haven't been putting what I said into practise. Hmmm... I should start.

Bye.

2010-09-26T01:00:00.000+08:00

This is getting, tiring. Arghhh.

2010-09-23T08:38:00.001+08:00

I woke up, disappointed today. Disappointed with myself. This spirit of negative energy is really getting into me…

Hmm. I’m trying hard to fight it, but… I don’t seem to be able to win this one. Arghh. Am I not meant for it?

I really need someone to be here for me.

But I’m too afraid to ask.

Maybe that person might not care at all?

God, please fix things for me.

Christianity vs Psychology – Differences and Similarities

2010-09-15T17:14:00.001+08:00

First off, I want to go through the major thought processes of a Christian. See in the context of a Christian, everything that he/she acts upon has the consideration of this one entity, and that is God. Basically the idea of this God, and his expectations of us humans (we are made in the image of him) are deeply rooted in the minds of a staunch Christian. Whatever we think and do, we unconsciously find ourselves trying to be like him, act like him, and even think like him.

We speak of conviction, when we do things that we know are wrong (gossiping, etc). We feel a sense of guilt, and also acknowledge ourselves as sinners. Now, all these can be explained, if you are not a believer, and a man of science (or psychology, whatever). Let us look at Freudian’s theory of the Id, Ego, and the Superego.

Id

Now Id basically is the innate needs and desires of a human being. At this level, these desires are intense and have to be satisfied immediately. Desires like these can refer to a ton of stuff. It could be physical needs such as food, water, etc. Materialistic needs such as branded clothes, and stuff. Emotional needs such as wanting to be with someone you like, etc. If only the Id existed in us, we will find ourselves taking our friends’ stuff and stealing things from shops; the world will be chaotic. That is why there is the ego, and the superego. They help to balance the needs of the Id (our innate self).

Superego

The Superego is the part of the mind we might name, conscience. It is the part of us that contains all the moral values and beliefs. These values and beliefs can be passed down to us from various sources. Depending on your stage of life, such sources may vary. At young, we may get these values from our parents, and people we really look up to (your older brother). As we grow up, we look towards our peers (the good ones) and often religious leaders, and the media (to a certain extent).

It is a pretty obvious fact that Christians or other people who have a religion have a stronger superego than some of us. This is due to the fact of the influence they’ve had since young and the people they are usually around with. The superego is the perfect being that all of us are. Basically any good moral value will be instilled into the superego and stored. Can you imagine the amount of values that you’ve instilled into your superego? At time when we do bad things, we have this guilt and a sense of insecurity. This is the work of our superego.

When Christians feel convicted by God, it is actually the work of their superego. Of course, these concepts cannot be proven by science; God is not measurable, you obviously cannot measure the Id, Ego, or Superego as well.

Ego

Ego here does to a certain extent refer to pride, if you were to think of it from another angle. In Freud’s theory, ego is the thing that balances the expectations of the superego with the desires of the Id.

For example, when your teacher scolds you for being late in front of the whole class:

Id: Basket, after school I 1 on 1 with you ar. Make sure you go in toilet cannot come out.
Superego: Wah yan zong, you really deserve it. See the importance of punctuality?
Ego: Ok I’ll just bear with it, it’ll be over soon.

This is the internal war that wages on inside of you every single day. The ego will try to allow Id to fulfill its desires at the most appropriate moment. Of course, the ‘most appropriate moment’ varies with every individual, depending on the comparative strength of the Id and the superego.

The ego is the realistic portion of the mind, whilst the Id has all the fantasies and wild dreams and the superego is filled with moral values and principles. However, it is also the most miserable because it has to satisfy 3 parties; the Id thoughts, the superego’s expectations, and the external world.

The ego is the mask that everyone wears. Everyone is selfish and born bad. We change, because of influences. Our superego may have gotten stronger, thus forcing our ego to succumb to its power. If not, all of us will have an evil side that demands the world from others while we are prepared to give nothing.

Hold on, am I digressing?

Back to the link. A Christian friend of mine once suggested that psychology is demonic, because you can explain everything. Your thought processes, why you feel ‘conviction’. It can even explain people’s need for a higher being to exist. And there is no way to rebuke it, because it is a theory that you cannot reprove. It just led me to write all these. Hmm. Yea.

Lets say that God really lives inside us. Maybe he does not live inside us as the form we know of in Christian context; the ‘spirit of God’. Think of God as your superego. The perfect being with all the moral values and principles.

Now, think of Satan as your Id. The one with all the desires, needs and wants. We often fight our own dark thoughts. As the saying goes: 'The strongest enemy you can ever face is yourself'.

Hey man of science, is this making sense to you yet? So far you agree that there is a superego concept right? And you feel guilt when you do bad things? Yes?

Ok. Now I’ll drop the bomb.

See…

God = Superego
Superego = Part of yourself
Yourself = Real because you exist
God = Real because YOU exist.

It’ll take awhile for you to understand. No worries.

For those who feel guilt when you do bad things, there’s also an explanation. But can I please leave it till the next blog post because it’s really really long and tiring to write =.=…

Ok see you people.

PS: Met this bboy recently, his name is Eden. He is so inspiring!!! Haha I am going to work on my freezes. Can’t wait can’t wait XD

2010-09-14T20:20:00.001+08:00

Should I tell?

2010-09-10T22:06:00.000+08:00

Well, I just want to say that God has been really great to me this semester.

As all things come to an end, I look back and saw how things have turned out. Things that I’ve wondered about, things that I never understood, things that I never expected will happen, all these became clear.

Of course, there is a fair share of disappointment and happiness at the same time. We lose some, we win some, yes?

Some people leave, and some people go. It won’t take long to realize that we often waste too much time chasing after things.

Things that don’t last.
People that don’t care.
Relationships that don’t matter.

I once thought dance was a way to forget things. Something I can use to numb the pain; 一种解脱. I was just being a coward, really.

‘If it’s a broken part, replace it. If it’s a broken arm, then brace it. If it’s a broken heart, then face it.’

At the end of the day, you have to go back to whatever that hurts. Because you have to fix things. You can’t run forever.

And then, after wasting so much time I realize something even more important.

How much time have I lost with God?

How long since I prayed a sincere prayer. When was the last time I actually read the bible? Or even been to net, or to church? I made dance my top priority in life, God wasn’t even close to second.

Now I regret the time that I’ve lost. I’ll make it up. No worries.

God has been really good to me. I mean. Everything links together now.

I prioritized dance. (That’s my first mistake)
I was less focused and commited to studying.
I had five theory modules, which I didn’t understand at all.
Somehow, Singapore was given the chance to hold the YOG.
And this year we had a month to prepare for exams.
I always wrote my notes in point form.
But this year, something tells me to do it in mind maps.
And I took the risk.
It was the worse time to try something conventional, but I did it anyway.
I won’t do exactly well, but at least I did the best that I could.
And things fell into place, somehow.

As time pass, I sort of understood what I wanted. I won’t share that, because that’s really personal.

I would love to write more, but something tells me to stop.

Therefore, I will.

I should stop trying.

2010-09-05T00:43:00.004+08:00

You’re the only chicken in the farm. The rest of them are all roosters. They tell you you’re good; because you lay eggs and that’s probably because you’re the only one who can. You don’t want to get comfortable in this farm, do you?

You move on to find a better farm. Eventually you ended up in a farm with all chickens. All of them lay eggs. After some time learning and training with them, finally they tell you you’re damn good; because you managed to lay a golden egg. You don’t want to get comfortable in this farm, do you?

You move on to find a better farm. Eventually you find a farm with all chickens who can lay golden eggs. After some time learning and training with them, finally they tell you you’re darn good; because you managed to lay 10 golden eggs in 2 days. You don’t want to get comfortable in this farm, do you?

You should always move on. If you’re in the rooster farm, you want to move to the chicken farm. If you’re in the chicken farm, you want to move to the golden chicken eggs farm. If you’re already there, you should look for a golden eggs chicken factory instead. The whole idea is not to be complacent, and get comfortable. This will only impede your level of growth.

Because you are never too damn good. There’s always someone out there that’s better, that can do more than you. There’s someone that will always be better than you. The whole idea is that you judge your level using your own expectations of yourself, not by others'. That’s how you grow.

If you’re getting comfortable, if you’re getting compliments from everyone, then perhaps this is not where you should be to improve yourself. Go to someplace where people think you’re shit. That’s when you can grow and improve again.

So stop lying to yourself. Stop being delusional. Start being humble. Start to learn and be open to criticism.

Are you getting too complacent today?

2010-09-02T22:46:00.001+08:00

I want to give thanks to my grass loving friend, for showing to me some things that I never paid attention to. Well. She’s still irritating. But, thanks (;